- him: So NBSB ka??
- me: Oo.
- him: Wow.
- me: Why does everyone say that? "Wow. Talaga."
- him: Rare na kayo e. Bilang na lang.
Kahit sabihin mong maraming kang taong nagustuhan, nakarelasyon, o minahal, meron at merong isa na iba ang epekto sa’yo. Yung pangalan pa lang e napapraning ka na, na parang bigla siyang susulpot sa likod mo. Yung boses pa lang ang marinig mo, hinihingal ka at sinusubukang pakalmahin ang puso at isip mo. Yung hindi mo matignan ng deretso o makausap ng maayos kasi nangingibabaw yung nararamdaman mong kaba.
Siya lang ang may ganung epekto sa’yo at kahit ilan pa ang dumaan at makakuha ng atensyon mo, siya pa rin at siya lang ang makakagawa nun.
Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story
people keep asking me why I sleep so much…
Funny how people skirt around the subject of you when talking to me. Those ‘shut up’ glances being exchanged, the elbowing of the seatmate, the nervous laugh and then the sudden change in topic, usually something random but happy in an effort to make me smile and ignore the slip of the tongue.
I don’t ask them to. It’s just their good-natured intention, I guess. Their way of saying that they care, that they don’t want to hurt me by reminding me of you.
But… I do want to know the joke you said during that party. I do want to know what color suitcase you bought for your trip. I do want to hear what you said to our friends when you said goodbye.
I want to know so that I won’t be up tonight thinking about it.
Kinimkim mo kasi, kaya ngayon mas nasasaktan ka. Lahat nung sakit na dapat nalabas na noon e tinago mo sa puso mo. Over time nagmultiply, dumami hanggang sa hindi na kinaya ng puso mo at ngayon bumigay na yung dam.
You left. You moved to a different city, twice, and found new people to be with. You somehow also found a way to forget so that when your sister recalls a certain story and asks you ‘Do you remember that time when…’, you immediately say you don’t and dismiss the story, partly because you don’t want to and partly because you really have forgotten it. You have convinced yourself that you wake up to a different sunrise, fall asleep under a different set of stars, and that the moon that watches over you is not the same as the one you left behind.